Today I saw a photo that an old friend posted on Facebook. It was a picture of his brother, who was my ex-boyfriend. He was my boyfriend almost 30 years ago. He died in 1990. We were no longer dating when he died, but I always thought there was some chance we would get back together. After his death, I knew that there would be no chance in this lifetime.
I’ve had two husbands and many boyfriends since him. But when I saw that picture I smiled, I teared up and I remembered.
I don’t delude myself thinking that we had a fairy tale relationship, hell, it was down right dysfunctional. But I remember the things he did for me while we dated, and these were the things money couldn’t by. He did things to make me feel like a queen. He did things that no one else ever did since.
I don’t write this to wallow in my past and think about what could have been; it serves no purpose.
I’d rather think about his smile and know that he is around. He has always been around.
I thought the light went out when you died.
But it has shone steady and bright, always.
I was just blinded by grief.
— Liz Kelso